This is not an easy story to tell, and contains many details I'm generally embarrassed (尴尬) to reveal. Underlying the story is the fact that, for many years, I actively rejected my Chinese cultural heritage as "foreign," something I thought (and was told) I should leave behind and permanently reject if I ever was to conform to my birth culture.
I am telling this story because I know there are many individuals like myself, Chinese born in countries all across the world, who have grown up "between a rock and a hard place," never seeming to meet the cultural expectations of our birth culture but also struggling to carry forth the thoughts, beliefs, and practices of our parent culture.
Rather than forcing ourselves to choose between one culture over the other or self-identifying as "bananas" (Chinese on the outside, but not on the inside), I believe we should instead submit to our unique cultural hybridity and seek to appreciate both respective cultures. Furthermore, I believe as cultural go-betweens, we have an important role to play in spreading Chinese culture both in the Mainland and in the rich Diasporas in which we reside.
Looking back, it is impossible for me to pinpoint the exact moment where I transitioned from a "Canadian" into a "Chinese-Canadian."
What I know for certain is that it has been and continues to be a lifelong journey of learning, one that began in the classroom of a Migration History professor and one that continues as I intern in Shanghai over this summer. I can pinpoint, however, many moments along that journey where I felt particularly attached to my motherland: staring out at the West Lake in Hangzhou, getting lost in the Old Summer Palace in Beijing, admiring the beauty of Guilin’s natural scenery, and crowding into a locals-only xiaolongbao (小笼包) store in Shanghai.
